As a child, I aspired to be a pediatrician.My little sister as my only patient, I would proudly proclaim my future plans of attending Johns Hopkins at every family gathering. Somewhere between then and my sophomore year of high school, that dream was indefinitely deferred when I discovered my aversion to blood. It was my high school sociology teacher that encouraged me to pursue a degree in the behavioral health field. Psychology worked for me because I could still fulfill my dream of working in a hospital and working with children. Seemingly, I had a well thought out 4-year plan (for a life at a university I didn’t even get into, actually).
Currently, I am at a crossroads. When interviewers inquire about my future career aspirations, the story I tell always varies. I see two paths that both contain a life I would be happy living. My mental image of both of these lives is so realistic, and both are within my grasp.I must focus on one, which is difficult without longing for the other. One path contains my “money-driven career,” the other, my “heart-driven career.
My money-driven career goal includes me being a badass psychologist impacting young lives. I would gain my Ph.D. in Child Psychology and work in a private practice doing therapy living happily ever after in California. It’s honestly a practical goal for someone in my field. And although I would be well paid, I believe that I won’t be fully content. That’s where my heart-driven career goal comes in.
Something within me is telling me that I need more. There’s a greater calling for my life to share my journey with others. To be the light. I want to build community, spread love, and motivate others to be their best selves. My heart wants to travel, teach, and inspire. My only issue with this dream is that it doesn’t always lead to financial stability. With that uncertainty ignites anxiety, warning me to run towards something less uncertain.
Stuck between the two versions of my future, I know that God has the first and last word. I settle on a happy medium by still pursuing grad school programs and placing myself in spaces where I can learn and grow how to serve others. Right now, that’s what works for me.
“The process isn’t always perfect or comfortable. Nevertheless, try to treasure the moments in between the outcome you are waiting for” – Alex Elle